Just Today

I haven't written in a blog for quite some time. I'm not even sure if I know what I want to write.

I guess I should start with last night. I had the most horrid dreams. My nephew was this long, lanky, froggy looking thing, and he was dying. I couldn't understand why he looked that way, or why no one would tell me what was going on. Sometimes I have days where I have just absolute insane dreams, where nothing makes sense, and I'm petrified. I dunno.

I just feel pretty alone lately... And kinda sheltered. Just yesterday I was told that I was being kinda bitchy. Well.. that happens sometimes... *sigh*

I miss Curtis. He's just been so great with me... 5 months we've been together now. We're going to the Dominican soon. I'm pretty excited but not as much as I could be. I haven't been working out in a while... I feel like I've put on a lot of weight, and that I'm not going to look as good in a bathing suit that I could... I know, kind of a weird thing to be worried about... Curtis loves me no matter what, but I want to make a good impression on his friends. I just wish that there was a quick fix.

Work is going alright.... Not great, not bad, just... alright.

And I haven't talked to my mom in almost a week... She pissed me right off the last time I spoke to her, so now I'm making it up to her to call me. I'm not sure if she knows that I'm upset with her...
Mothers just have this inante ability to make their children feel like shit, even though they didn't say or do anything at the time. It's hard to feel successful and happy when she thinks that you're fat, or lazy, or something. Sometimes I think she's jealous of me, and what I've done with my life. I dunno. I could be right... I could be way wrong.

I'm kind of in the market for getting some more ink done. I want to get something on my back to incorporate my 2 dragons that are on there already. I'm not sure what kind of theme or anything, but a friend of mine at work is willing to sketch something up one of these days when we aren't too terribly busy. I'm not sure if I want to cover my dragons, or to get them redone, or to just get something between them.

I should get Curtis to take pictures of me, to show all my tattoos. That would really rock.

Alright. Time to go and get some lunch. I feel like disappearing and maybe getting some sushi... But it's freezing outside and I haven't showered yet. Starting to sound like it's Kraft Dinner time. Woot!